What is Your Communication Stance?  

topkappi Ask me for a photo 2/22/2012 12:39 pm	What is your communication stance and how does it impact your relationships? Virginia Satir developed a way to help us assess our communication styles and the patterns they play out in our relationships. She came up with five communication stances: PLACATING: This is a person who avoids conflict and quickly tries to please/appease friends or lovers so that no one is angry at him/her. This stance is also used by those who want acceptance regardless of the price. This person is a skilled people-pleaser and is not above lying to make the other person feel good. BLAMING: This person takes no personal responsibility for their actions but finds that the other person, community, society, church is to blame for their problems. The blamer believes that he/she is standing up or fighting for his/her rights but uses this as manipulation to get what he/she wants. This person has little awareness of others' feelings and thoughts and needs to learn to communicate their perspective/opinion respectfully. SUPER REASONABLE: This person craves stability in life and therefore will follow all contextual rules, i.e., societal, church, home, work or school rules, regardless of what others say or feel. His/her world must be organized and stable. For this person, logic and rules reign supreme. IRRELEVANT: This person is always joking around, changing the subject, and likes to be "off the wall". This person thinks that by being entertaining he/she will receive approval and people will be distracted enough not to notice his/her insecurities and imperfections. CONGREUNT: A healthy stance of communication is where the person is confident and can communicate without resorting to the other four when confronted with difficult situations. This person can be assertive if necessary while being conscious of the other person's opinion and feelings. We should be aiming for a congruent communication stance but many of us have work to do to get there. The other four communication stances are "survival" stances usually learned in childhood, but unfortunately they are unbalanced and do not work well in the long term, leading to communication breakdown in the relationship. IN MY CASE.... I am a congruent type. I try to be more assertive, but of course it is not an easy work, it requires discipline, self observation and many things more like attitude, motivation. What do you think and how do you think these stances would impact a relationship/marriage?. _________________
_RainStorm 496 posts  2/23/2012 2:11 am	i think everyone will say congruent lolz..i dont see kinky and naughty on the list ..to bad i would of choosing those 2 lolzzzzz
vishalnxt Ask me for a photo 185 posts  2/27/2012 10:49 pm